Ferrari press release

[bearbvd@domain.elided (Greg Hermann)]

>Modena, Italy:
>The Ferrari F1 Team fired their entire Pit- Crew Yesterday. The
>announcement
>was followed by Ferrari's Decision to take advantage of the British
>Government's "Work For the Dole" Scheme and hire unemployed youths from
>Glasgow.  The decision to hire them was brought on by a recent documentary
>on how unemployed youths in Easter House were able to remove a set of car
>wheels in less than 6 seconds without proper equipment, whereas Ferrari's
>existing crew can only do it in 8 seconds with millions of pounds worth of
>high-tech gear. This was thought to be an excellent yet bold move by
>Ferrari
>Management, as most races are won & lost in the pits, Ferrari would have
>an
>advantage over every team. However Ferrari expectations were easily
>exceeded, as during the Crew's first practice session; not only were the
>weegie pit crew able to change the tyres in under 6 seconds but within 12
>seconds they had resprayed, rebadged, and had sold the vehicle over to the
>McLaren Team for four dozen cans of Special Brew and a gram of Coke.
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