Mechanical Machines and Forbidden Fruit

[JHertzman@xxxxxxx]

In AD7-175 Scott Fisher commented on the private importation of current Alfas,
starting his discussion with the modest plight of British car owners
maintaining orphans in eighties and moving on to the relative ease with which
"Today, you can probably log on to a Web site in Europe, locate the bits you
need, punch your Visa or Mastercard number into a secure-socket application,
and presto, the stuff you need shows up via UPS Next-day and you're on the
road again in no time. Of course, that presumes that you can diagnose your car
and repair it yourself; I'm not worried about that."

Yes, but - -

Forget, for the moment, the OBD and engine management and smog. Last week (in
ad7-163) Lawrence Hegarty wrote "The HVAC computer/console on my 1991 164S has
stopped working completely. I have tried following the debugging algorithm on
the CarDisk manual and have concluded that I need a new computer. The local
Alfa dealer wants $2500.00 for a new one." Imagine a 164 in Canada without a
heater, or in Texas without air conditioning. And that is just one auxiliary
system, not next year's paddle shifter.

As recently as the late eighties you didn't need a debugging algorithm to fix
the controls of an AC unit, even on an Alfa. You, not the computer, turned the
knob or slid the slider. Nobody ever spent a penny to fix the stepper motor on
a Giulia Super. As recently as the late seventies you didn't need to be
terribly sophisticated to fix the kiddie lockout system on the rear power
windows, let alone the remote central locking which got triggered by random
external radiation. 

Hop forward to ad7-164 when Andrew McInerney reported on the six times his
dealer "diagnosed" and "fixed" the alarm system on his 1997 155.

Go back another week on the digest - - "The Integrated Control System on Alfa
Romeo's top-of-the-line 166 model - - The onboard computer, vehicle navigation
system, in-car sound system, car phone and air-conditioning controls are all
integrated into a single, self-explanatory user interface - - 

I could go on, at length, but won't. A state-of-the-art car today is a
marvelous machine, when it works, which for most owners is most of the time,
and while under warranty and under the care of a proper distributor/dealer
network. Beyond that- presuming with Scott that I can diagnose my car and
repair it myself - on my own, even with internet access and Visa card, my
carbureted GT Veloce, (with a manually controlled heater), will probably be
viable long after my Milano dies, and that Milano will probably be viable long
after our 164 with its automatic ZF box and myriad computers, which I would
expect might, here in the boondocks, outlast today's most exciting Forbidden
Fruit.

Enjoy yours, when you get it-

John H.

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