My mechanic is stupid

[Mark Holbrook <holbrook@xxxxxxxxxxxx>]

I mean, really.  This is on an E30.

1) The lower speed ranges of the heater fan quit, indicating something
wrong with the resistor network.  Presumes you have to pull the fan
motor out before you pull the resistor network (Bzzzt! Wrong!)  Breaks
one side of the fan doing so.  Uses scotch tape to hold it together. 
Resistor network tests good. Put it all back together.  Scotch tape
breaks, flopping fan cage edge flies out and hits case on any speed
setting higher than "1," creating loud racket.  Then fan quits on lower
ranges again.  Owner and wife need car, so they freeze for two weeks. 
Finally pull fan and resistor network again, epoxy fan cage back
together and note bad thermal cutout on resistor board, fixed by simply
cleaning the contacts.  All fixed in time for warm spring weather.

2) After an oil change, forgets to put oil cap back on.  Ignores rough
idle and occasional "Check Engine" light afterwards.  Goes on trip to
New Jersey, low oil warning light comes on, opens hood in mall parking
lot and discovers oil all over the engine compartment, with the cap
sitting cheerfully on top of the manifold even after 300 miles of
driving.  Dumps spare quart of oil in, replaces cap, back on road good
as new.

3) Wife and kids complain of a "rattle" that seems to come from the
passenger-side dash.  Owner never hears it when he's driving.  Three
weeks of wondering what's falling off later, it's finally heard when he
takes daughter to school but not when coming home and only when going
over bumps.  20 minutes of bouncing the car around in the garage and
bouncing around inside the car inside the garage reveals the soda can
wedged under the passenger seat that was being crunched whenever the
passenger's butt hit it.

I am, of course, my own mechanic.  I'm sure none of you ever do dumb
things like these :-)

- -- 
Mark (Holbrook@domain.elided)                    "Back roads. Period."
http://www.net1plus.com/users/holbrook/mark.htm

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