Mark Kibort, Your Event is Ready

[Duane Collie <drcollie@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

>From: mark kibort <mkibort@domain.elided>
>Subject: we dont do autocrosses, we do road races.
>
>go to  Laguna , Sears , Thunderhill, Buttonwillow, Willowsprings , and Ill
>be there .  Its what i do, its how I have fun.   Maybe you should try it
rather 
>that beating your car in a parking lot ,flicking cones. 

Mark,

Well now. I can say that I know SCCA Road Racers that can't Autocross worth
a damn. But I've never met a top flight autocrosser that can't take to the
track very quickly. To do it well, and be in the top (5), autocross is MUCH
harder in my opinion. Why?  At the track you can pound at it
relentlessly...lap after lap and refine your line/technique, etc.  At the
Autocross, you haveta get it right on the first run - every time.  No two
layouts are the same. It requires razor sharp thinking and near perfect
reflexes to pull it off successfully.  

Now...whildest partaking of Latrobe's golden nectar (conveniently packaged
in a green bottle), I became INSPIRED.  A divine moment came to light!
Since you are NEVER going to cease the ERAM talking, and you think
autocrossing is merely 'flicking cones'...... I have a proposal.

PIZZAFEST.  (Said to the chants of TOGA - TOGA - TOGA - TOGA a'la the
National Lampoon movie)

Dat's right. PIZZAFEST.

Back to New Jersey.  October 1999.  Mark Nernburg's Pizza.  Atlantic City
Convention Center - (the have the International Porn Star and Toys
Convention there, early October - for real - yes, only a true PizzaFester
can appreciate what that means).

You fly out. You bring your ERAM and your helmet. 

I will let you <-grimace-> install YOUR ERAM on my M3.  Then we'll go find
a dyno and in front of 150 or so Digesters, we'll see it run. Then,
afterwards YOU get to 'flick cones' in my car at the autocross that we will
have.  You'll even get to meet the 'pencil-necked geek'
(markkibortisanidiot@domain.elided) and discuss real time personal
relationships with him!  I can set it all up.  For real.

All YOU have to do is this:  1) Get an airline ticket and a hotel room
(optional but highly recommended), and  2) If the dyno sez you're wrong,
you must SWEAR on the Holy Bible to never say ERAM on the Digest again and
you get a new e-mail program. 

You'll be the Guest of Honor at PizzaFest and will be swarmed with HOOTER's
lasses. If you want to bring MORE ERAMS for other BMW's, I'll line 'em up
... tell me what kind you want.  I'll even try my darndest to have Jim
Conforti there.  Your ERAM proves out in front of God and Country then
we'll sing your praises and all buy one.

So there you go. 

We'll show you a wild 72 hours of fun - you show us your ERAM. And your
autocross techniques. I'll set it all up.  Whaddyasay?  Here's your chance
to show us it all works and its 9 months away...plenty of time to plan.

Duane Collie
Do I smell Pizza?
    

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