Bubbas in Bermuda (Part 1)

[Duane Collie <drcollie@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

Oh my, two weeks on vacation and we return to discover that all is normal
In Digest land, to wit: Blue Lights, Digest Stickers, Parking lot dings and
that goofball continuing his eeeeKKKK-ram sales pitch. All is right with
the world. Before we (collectively) jump into da Digest fray, let me tell=
you
how the Bubbas spent their two weeks in Bermuda:

Bubba Jim Conforti: Chipped every Taxi on the Island. Said they was too damn
slow on the ride from the airport. Afterwards kept stumbling around the=
place
asking the locals, "Where the hell is the nude beach around here?"

Bubbas Ben Liaw: Invented a device to pour beer faster (BL / B.A.R.F. -
Beer Accessoral Retrieval Facilitator) for the local pub and had titanium
parts
FED EX'ed in from Taiwan. Works on ERAM principle=85.Plug cute little
Electric fan into keg and all it did was blow foam everywhere. As we udder
Bubbas
predicted ahead of time - a truly worthless invention no matter what the
keg-dyno said.

Bubba Pat Donahue (a.k.a. Geeeezzee): A real sicko. Kept hanging around
The Island Nursing Home trying to pick up old broads 'cause he figured
(correctly) that only those over 70 would be interested in ridin' in his
E34 M5.

Bubbas Gary Bossert, Mike Wendell, Rich Beebe, Kathyrn Lyle, Bob Stommel,
Matt Yip: The Race Car contingent in Bubba-world. All bored with layin' on
the Beach so they took up parasail racing which worked pretty good for
awhile until they started crossing tow lines in the corners. Was pretty
ugly - lot of cussin' when that happened.  Afterwards, they wired four
DAYTONA USA Video games together and were quiet content to gang-video race
all their waking hours.=20

Bubba Brett Andersen: Spent most of vacation looking for an F-Body car to
rent so as to properly terrorize the natives upon the public highways.
Kept muttering that "BMW owners are wonks" and we happily agreed in order to
amuse him.  Brett was also able to properly update his worldwide sheep
species database (his hobby) by interviewing several Bermudian Sheep.

Bubba Sherman Koo: Got drunk and aimlessly wondered the beaches saying to
the wimmen: "I've got a Dinan badge on my car=85....wanna party, baby?"

Bubba Michel: Impressed us all by ordering all our meals in fluent French.
Unfortunately, since they really don't speak French in Bermuda, this
Usually resulted in us getting Hot Dogs and BBQ'ed Beans no matter what he
said.=20

Bubbas Mike Gayle, Rafael Garces, Scott Adare, Jon Farber, Woody Hair, Thi
Van Ausdale: Kept trying to get the locals interested in a daily autocross
series using golf carts from the resort. This was working somewhat
successfully until they ordered a planeload of mini-BFG R1's and were
caught by the Club Manager trying to replace the stock tires from the carts.

Bubba Rob Levinson: Made a HUGE sand castle/impression at lunchtime
Everyday in the shape of a particular Kompressor/Pizza person who shall=
remain
nameless. Then at 3 p.m. every day would stomp it into oblivion saying, "
Helen would like this". I worry about Bubba Rob sometimes.

Bubba Keith Battan: (a.k.a. Romeo) : Used successful ploy having
bikini-clad co-eds undress for him by telling them. "It's really O.K.to get
nekked for
me, back home I'm a Doctor". Then he'd pull out his stethoscope and rage
around for a bit.

Bubba Mike Fenell: Would usually stay off to himself muttering about
"rotary engines" and kept talking mazdaspeak about "first generation, second
generation, third generation=85" This was very weird from a Bimwad
perspective.

(End of part I)

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