cow madness

["Frank P.Filice" <filice@domain.elided>]

At 03:30 AM 3/20/2002 -0500, you wrote:
>Date: Wed, 20 Mar 2002 08:04:37 -0000
>From: "Tim Hancock" <timhancock@domain.elided>
>Subject: Cows and The Economy
>
>If Scott can raise the tone with Shakespearean Horses....then I can lower it
>again with Cows....apologies for being way off topic.
>
>Cows and the Economy
>
>You have two cows.
>You sell one and buy a bull.
>Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
>You sell them and retire on the income.
>
>ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM:
>
>You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed
>company,using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank,
>then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you
>get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of
>the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company
>secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven
>cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns
>eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new president of
>the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with
>the release.  The public buys your bull.
>
>
>AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
>
>You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of
>four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
>
>A FRENCH CORPORATION
>
>You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
>
>A JAPANESE CORPORATION
>
>You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an
>ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow
>cartoon images called Cowkimon and market themWorld-Wide.
>
>A GERMAN CORPORATION
>
>You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a
>month, and milk themselves.
>
>A BRITISH CO RPORATION
>
>You have two cows. Both are mad.
>
>AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
>
>You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
>
>
>A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
>
>You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You
>count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again
>and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of
>vodka.
>
>
>A SWISS CORPORATION
>
>You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing
>them.
>
>A HINDU CORPORATION
>
>You have two cows. You worship them.
>
>A CHINESE CORPORATION
>
>You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full
>employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the
>numbers.
>
>Well its a change from Porkers.....I mean Porsches.
>
>Tim Hancock  164TS Lusso     (I quite like Porsches really, just jealous I
>can't afford one)
>
>------------------------------

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