Cows and The Economy

["Tim Hancock" <timhancock@domain.elided>]

If Scott can raise the tone with Shakespearean Horses....then I can lower it
again with Cows....apologies for being way off topic.

Cows and the Economy

You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM:

You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed
company,using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank,
then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you
get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of
the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company
secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven
cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns
eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new president of
the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with
the release.  The public buys your bull.


AN AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of
four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION

You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION

You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an
ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow
cartoon images called Cowkimon and market themWorld-Wide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION

You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a
month, and milk themselves.

A BRITISH CO RPORATION

You have two cows. Both are mad.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.


A RUSSIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You
count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again
and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of
vodka.


A SWISS CORPORATION

You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing
them.

A HINDU CORPORATION

You have two cows. You worship them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION

You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full
employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the
numbers.

Well its a change from Porkers.....I mean Porsches.

Tim Hancock  164TS Lusso     (I quite like Porsches really, just jealous I
can't afford one)

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