Re: YMMQ: Milano key light battery replacement

["John Hertzman" <johnhertzman@domain.elided>]

In AD8-0117 new Milano owner Bill Bain asked "How does one change the
batteries in the keys?", and in AD8-0118 Nick Koleszar replied "I don't know
about Milano keys but the 75 (European name) keys don't have batteries in
them. You must be talking about the remote for the alarm? I don't know if Alfa
Romeo USA installed their own alarms at the dealers originally."

 Well - -

My wife and I have a Milano, '87 Platinum, and a 164, 1991 base, and HAD
illuminated keys (similar appearances, different constructions) for both of
them. On one the battery (presumably) died; on the other the bulb broke, both
in the early nineties. Repairs attempted, frustration ensued. Consequently I
had been very interested when the question was raised early in the life of the
Alfa Digest. The first answer was in AD1-150, 11 October 1995, from Colin
Verrilli (a well-known name in these parts):

 "You're supposed to replace the whole key! That's the only part available in
the US. Stupid, eh? When I checked, the price was around $60. Needless to say,
I'm living with a key that doesn't light."

 Following contributors included Joe Moryl (formerly a regular here), Brian
Shorey (still known), Scott Shadle (our distinguished mole at the National
Highway Traffic Safety Administration), Jherzman, and others. The consensus
was (a) it is easy and obvious, (b) the easy and obvious procedures simply
don't work, nor do any others, (c) the discrepancy is because there were
different types, (d) most dealers don't stock the keys, but when they do the
cost is outlandish, (e) it is more likely to be a problem with the bulb than
with the battery, and (f) the bulb is a specialty item which can only be
purchased in large quantities.

 The problem becomes more academic when the ignition lock fails (it will) and
the new lock set for ignition and doors comes with unilluminated keys for a
cost not that much more ($94.50 a year ago) than an illuminated key cost a
decade ago. The Maglight line of flashlights has been extended down to some
very pocketable things, (a single AAA battery) and even without one it isn't
that hard to find a keyhole in the dark without savaging the paint.

 It is a very minor failing in a car which has many major merits. Count your
blessings-

 John H.

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