Letter to Click `n Clack about my Car-O-Scope reading

["B.D. & Petei Zelazny" <unltd-ltd@domain.elided>]

You guys (the Tappit Bros.) really blew it on this one!!

I've owned my `83 Alfa Romeo GTV6 since new. It will turn 360,000
on the clock next week. I LOVE THIS CAR!!

I'm the Pres of my local AROC chapter (Texas Hill Country) in
Austin/San Antonio which is 430 miles from where I live. I'm also
the newsletter editor, web master
(http://www.brooksdata.net/personal/thc-aroc-usa) and treasurer.

Additionally, I am a Director on the national AROC Board, ...and
on the BoD for 5.5 years so far. I also am the web master of the
AROC-USA web site <http://www.aroc-usa.org>.

My wife of 30 years next month has TWO Alfas: a `69 GTV
(currently sleeping) and a `91 164S.

You are right about the Range Rover though, since we now live in
the Mountains of West Texas (visit the history and photo
galleries at http://www.ojinaga.com/unlimited_limited).

Here's what your Car-O-Scope said (and my wife agrees with your
assessment of me!):

Hello, Bernardo

Comparing You to Other Alfa Romeo GTV6 Owners

Boy oh boy, Bernardo, you picked a vehicle that just isn't quite
right for you. You're compatible with your Alfa Romeo GTV6 only
in terms of how much you really care about your car and your
income.

When compared to other people who drive a Alfa Romeo GTV6, most
Alfa Romeo GTV6 owners are male, you're a bit too old to be
driving this vehicle, your educational level is a bit lower than
that of other Alfa Romeo GTV6 owners, you're a little too much of
a risk-taker, you're more generous than other owners, you're just
not enough of a snob, and you are much more objective and
logical(.)

For your further edification, here's a little further elucidation
on these personality characteristics.

You certainly are a bit of a nut case, aren't you, when it comes
to taking chances (well, at least compared to other Alfa Romeo
GTV6 owners). Calm down. CALM DOWN! It's not the end of the
world, for heaven's sake. And nobody is asking you to change
anything about who you are. We'd never do that. Go ahead. Jump
off a cliff if that's what makes you happy. But, if this is
really what you are, you're gonna have to change vehicles.

Compared to most other Alfa Romeo GTV6 owners, you certainly
aren't the type who squeezes a nickel to see if the buffalo will
cough up a dime. No, not you. Quite the contrary. Let's face it,
you're far too generous a person to be driving a Alfa Romeo GTV6.
So continue to "cast your bread upon the waters," and Car-O-Scope
will find a vehicle that's more compatible with
your generous nature.

Gee, this is interesting. Car-O-Scope has determined that most
other Alfa Romeo GTV6 owners are much more concerned with status
than you are. What to do, what to do? Let's see, we can either
find you another vehicle--or maybe we can get you enrolled in
that crash course in snobbery.

Some of us have an overdeveloped left brain, and some have an
overdeveloped right brain. And your strength is definitely on the
left: logic and objectivity. This is not a bad thing. We do need
rocket scientists. But it makes you somewhat incompatible with
your Alfa Romeo GTV6. Other Alfa Romeo GTV6 owners are a bit more
"touchy-feely" than you. But you are what you are, so take your
pick: Change what you are or get a new car. (That rhymes, doesn't
it? Oops, that's a right-brain thing. Sorry.)

Car-O-Scope Makes Suggestions for More Compatible Vehicles

Have no fear, Car-O-Scope is here to save you from a life of
misery, depression and hemorrhoidal flare-ups. Through a secret
and proprietary process (patent pending) the official
car-o-scope has determined that your psychographic and
demographic profile is far more compatible with the following
vehicles: some of these suggestions might surprise you. But try
to keep an open mind. It's quite possible that the car-o-scope
has discovered some hidden and/or repressed aspects of your
personality.

1. Land Rover Range Rover
2. Land Rover S2A
3. Fiat X1/9
4. Jeep CJ7
5. Triumph TR6

==============================================================

Okay Mr. Click & Mr. Clack, a Land Rover could be in my future as
another vehicle, but the GTV6 is here to stay, at least  until I
get a million miles on it (it's currently the highest mileage
GTV6 on the planet!).

I'm sending a copy of this post to the Alfa Digest, so watch out,
more Alfaholics could be p!ssed off at you!

Ciao,
Bernardo
b:d+z
Alpine, Brewster County, Texas USA
   Animated global position (~2:30 load @ 28.8):
        http://www.alpinetexas.com/map_zoom.html

             Divided by Zero Productions
http://www.ojinaga.com/unlimited_limited/divided_by_zero_productions/

ps-I found the source of my creaking suspension (which you never
called me back about - CHICKEN!!): it was a failing anti sway bar
bushing! Now that they've *both* failed the noise is gone. Now I
have that annoying pounding noise ever time I hit a bump at 100
mph. New bushings should arrive next week!!

pss-I'll continue to listen to your program *if* you LOVINGLY
mention "Alfa Romeo" at least once a month for the rest of your
programs life. You have three months to begin this program...or
I'll tell all my buddies y'all are really gay *and* incestuous
inbreeders (is that possible?).

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