Re: advertising safety

[Regan Dale Copple <copple@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

Greetings Alfisti,
	All comments below relate to Montreals only.

<snip>
> PREVENTIVE SAFETY
> 
> DRIVER COMFORT. Anti-fatigue measures start with the orthopedic-designed seats
> that adjust for personalized comfort. Driving controls are all close at hand;
> headlights, turn signals and windshield wipers can be controlled without
> removing hands from wheel. Horizontal visibility is 90 %; road surface is
> visible less than 14 feet ahead. Instruments are clustered in non-reflecting
> surfaces directly ahead of driver.

	That is if the visor isn't constantly hitting you in the head as
it drops down.

> STEERING is fast, precise and effortless due to light front end and
rack-and-pinion steering.

	This guy has obviously never driven a Montreal.

> ROAD-HOLDING reaches new levels of tenacity and directional stability in the
> Alfetta because of its perfect weight distribution, DeDion rear axle and
> sophisticated suspension features.

	Can you say "lead sled"?

> HANDLING is race-car quick- the Alfetta does what you want exactly when you
> want it. Evasive maneuvers are easily executed - the car stays in shape on
> hard corners and lane changes.

	Can you also say "fishtail"?

> BRAKING, critical for traffic and high-speed driving, is via 4-wheel power
> disc brakes. Developed in racing, Alfa Romeo brakes stop you fast and
> straight. Dual circuits. Automatic pressure modulator prevents rear wheel
> lockup on strong braking. Parking brake operates on rear disc brakes, holds on
> 1-in-3 slope.

	Lastly boys and girls, can you say "lock-up"?

> TIRES are high-speed belted radials for maximum adhesion on all surfaces.

	See ROAD-HOLDING.

> HEADLIGHTS are designed for high-speed driving, lighting up the road far
> ahead. Rear lights are large and located for high visibility even in fog.

	Now if we could only get them to illuminate the cop cars in time.

<snip>

				Tongue Firmly In Cheek,
				Regan
				(Recuperating from bad bicycle accident)

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