Re: Mouthing Off

["Joseph Michael Shaw, II" <MikeIIDC@domain.elided>]

Okay, I've had a few inquiries, and it really wasn't that bad-I've had
many worse flare-ups of my "inner (typical male violent) child" at the
bar in the past, but as this was very recent, and somewhat refuted my
signing off with the "Peace and Love" ending, it was the one that sprang
to mind.
Anyway, I got to work a couple of Thursdays ago and there was a woman
there that has caused problems in the past.  I had not seen her in over
a year in the bar, so I thought I'd let by-gones be by-gones.  She was
sitting with some tourists from MI I heard them say.  He was a VERY loud
(the kind that never got enough attention at home so they go out in
public and act and speak very loudly so that they get some kind of
attention at least), very obnoxious, very "I'm spending money so I can
do what I want" type.  These are, if you couldn't tell, among my least
favorite people.
I had just had my clinic entrance exams that day (and a total of about
eight hours sleep all week) and probably had the patience left of your
typical cranked out junkie upon learning his wife had left him and taken
the Harley.
My boss called and Julie (the psycho) was mentioned.  He informed me
that she was still not welcome in there.  I called her up to the bar and
said, very politely, I might add, "Julie, I didn't realize that you are
still not supposed to be here, but you're not and I'm going to have to
ask you to leave."
She mumbled a little something, then went over to the table and sat down
and began getting her things together.  About fifteen minutes later she
still had not left.  I went over and said, "Sorry, I tried to ask you
nicely and let you finish your beer, but it's time to go."  Well, she
had already finished her beer, but they were having pitchers and she had
refilled.  I took her glass and carried it to the bar.  She pretty much
knew she was wrong and started to get up and head out.  One of the guys
that was at the table but who is a regular came up and said, "Mike, I
don't mean to question you, but what problem do you have with Julie?"  I
simply told him she had caused fights, been in fights, and yelled and
screamed on occasions before, and it was a long history.  We simply
preferred she not be there.
Again he said, "Well, I'm not going to question you-"
At which point I cut him off.  People constantly think they have a say
in how a bar is run, and it becomes very annoying.  In a five star
restaurant, the customer is usually "right," though a**holes come in
there, too, and I have occasionally had to inform one of them when they
were outside of the boundaries of good taste.  But in a hole-in-the-wall
dive where the clientelle has never heard of Miss Manners, that old
adage of the customer always being right simply does not work.
Regardless, I cut him off and said, "Yes, you're right, You're not going
to question me because it has nothing to do with you!"  He had seen this
cloud come over my face before, and he went to sit down.
I walked out from behind the bar again, as Julie was still lingering.
The loudmouth from Detroit came up and got right in my face and said,
"Do you have a problem with Julie?"
"Yes, we do," I replied.  "But it is purely business.  It's not personal
at all."
"Well she's with us!"
"Well, I'm sorry, but she is going to have to leave."  I said, still
proud of myself for restraining my hands from the b#@%**ds throat.
"Well, maybe we'll just all leave, then!"  he said.
"Good, I hope you find somewhere nice and have a wonderful time!"  I was
letting a certain amount of smart-assedness slip into my tone, but
overall was still being very diplomatic.
"Man, you suck!" he spat at me, including real saliva, though only from
his speaking, not like a real loogie or anything.
I opened the door and they filed out with much grumbling.  I started to
head for the bar, but they were still standing right in the doorway and
were shouting obscenities.  This is not at all good for business, and I
pride myself on maintaining a professional demeanor to the bar.  I
looked back and they saw me through the window.  They backed away, but
while looking right at me the guy flipped me off and called me a
"frigging male organ" (pardon me for paraphrasing!)
I lost it.  I stormed out of the bar, out the door, graabed him by the
shoulders/collar/arms and drove him back into a Jeep Cherokee that was
sitting right there.  I began shouting at him, basically along the lines
of "If you don't pipe down and get away from the entrance to the bar I
am going to position your head inside of this vehicle without opening
any part of it, but rather using the windows which are very difficult
for me to open from this side.  Perhaps I shall use your head as the
instrument with which to perform this task."  While continually
reacquanting his face with the window in question so that he could tell
exactly what my intentions were and which window he might wish to open.
Julie came running up and grabbed me by the throat trying to pull me
off.  I didn't really notice this for a minute, as my attention was on
the Wolverine, but then he looked over my shoulder and told her to "Get
away!  Get away!"  I think he thought I had lost it completely and she
was in danger.  Upon feeling her on my throat I turned and looked at
her, and my eyes must have looked like I had lost it too, as she very
quickly backed away.
The guy then tried to kick my groin, which I managed to block, then,
fearing I may actually break the window, I moved his head over to the
side of the window to body parts and reminded him that I had the better
grip on him by dribbling a few times.  After he had finally shut up, I
looked at him for a second to see if he had anything else to say.  He
seemed to have grown bored with the conversation, so I let him go and
walked back into the bar.  I apologized to the customers that were
inside, most of whom applauded, as they were generally in agreement that
he was a loudmouth, annoying, idiot.  He continued to make noise, but at
a much lower volume, and I could hear the sound trailing away.  My
doorman went out to speak with him, but he kept moving.  No further
problem.
I do not in any way condone violence, and very rarely get this way, but
I do feel that there are occasions where some people will listen to no
other argument, and it is needed to make a point. I have never kicked
anyone when they were down, nor beat them senseless after proving a
point.  I have lost many personal fights that I have had, as I have a
tremendous fear of hurting someone.  I usually punch someone in the
chest or gut, as the head is very fragile.  I hope to hurt them enough
to make them stop.  They usually punch me in the face and give me a
black eye or something or break my nose (it's happened a couple of
times).  Pleasse do not think me a violent jerk, for I am a huge fan of
peace and love.  However, much as the government sometimes tries to
argue, sometimes a little violence must be used to keep the peace.
So that's the story-no big deal.  I only mentioned it as I felt slightly
hypocritical for saying "peace and love" without a qualifier.  This
should speak to how much I hate violence, if I am still feeling guilty a
week-and-a-half later!

Michael

Alan St. John wrote:

> Mike,
>
> OK, I'm intrigued: what *did* you do to this guy?  :-)
>
> Alan