Everything I need to know, I learned on the Digest

[Jonathan Porath <Jporath@xxxxxxxxxxxx>]

As the ignominious end draws near for what was once a humble, friendly
little internet society, there are a few lessons I learned that I would
like to share with the remaining souls here.

1. If invited to a party and there are people who you do not like or agree
with, do not insult and berate the host. Simply make the decision not to
invite these people to the party that you host.

2. While at the same party, do not insult or berate the people that you do
not like or agree with. This only makes you look like a bore and annoys the
host and the other partygoers who are there to have a good time.

3. This is especially true if object of your insults really likes to yell
back.

4. If you want to wax eloquent on the wonders of Zymol, don't wonder why
your popularity wanes.

5. Bon ami does not necessarily make for good friends.

6. It is better to light the darkness than to curse it.  Unless you use
your foglamps.

7. Those that make spelling errors aren't necessarily uninformative,
unenlightened or unentertaining people.

8. Unless they do it all the freaking time.

9. Those that feel the need to constantly remind us how to spell,
punctuate, speak, walk, talk or act are rarely enlightened, entertaining
people. 

10. Email, like English, French, Sanskrit or what have you, is a
communicative medium.  The more mastery you display in the medium, the more
likely your message will be interpreted correctly. 

11. Don't publicly tell people how to use their email. 3000 people aren't
interested because they don't have that problem.

12. Don't pee in the pool you are swimming in.  When you go to other pools
your reputation will precede you.

13. Forced induction isn't necessarily about engines.

14. Swimming with the sharks can be a very pleasurable and enlightening
experience.

15. Beer is good.

16. Keep the sticky side down.

17. There are people in this world who know way more than you do about
stuff. Don't begrudge them this.  

18. Learn from them. You are lucky to know them.

19. Seeing somebody start with just a notion of an idea and nurse it,
develop it, share it, and ultimately enrich themself from it is a truly
wonderful thing indeed.

20. Never publicly humiliate people, they will only resent you.

21. Somebody, somewhere, has a nicer car than you do. This does not mean
they suck.

22. Others have cars that are not as fast, or as expensive, or as well
accessorized, or even BMWs.  This does not make them bad people. If they
love their car, be happy for them. 

23. Unless it's a Yugo. Then be very afraid.

24. Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time, annoys the pig
and bores the 3000 unfortunates who have to watch.

25. Don't post really long messages unless you don't mind getting flamed.

26. Play nice. Help others whenever you can.  Enjoy what you have. You are
damn lucky to have it.

That's it.  Thanks Richard.  Shut the lights off and lock the door when you
leave.  It's been fun. Bye.

Jonathan Porath

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