Re: Who's the idiot?

[Michael_Bird@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx]

I don't know.   I wouldn't dream of trying to guess who the idiot truly is.
But, and I repeat, but, the following is an actual quote from a MK
response, posted Mon, 18 Jan 1999 13:31:15 -0500:

Ignornace can be taught, supidity is constant.   I seem that you havent
cracked = a book for a couple of years , right??


Now, let's take a look at this, shall we?

Ignornace?   Hmmm.   You almost had a good point, one of those "quotable
quotes" that we might have heard the president quote tonight except for one
small detail.   That "ignornace" isn't a word.   Maybe you mean to type the
word "ignorance".   Notice how the letters are in a slightly different
order.   This is important when you are trying to communicate.   Now, after
the comma is "supidity".  That's sort of an oxymoron isn't it?   Well,
maybe without the oxy.   What I mean is that supidity is not a word.
Stupidity, now that's a word.   Maybe you misspelled it.  Maybe you don't
know the difference.   That would be the pot calling the kettle black, now
wouldn't it?

I know that some of you don't read very fast, so I am typing this slowly so
that you can keep up.

Using the correct word with the correct spelling in the correct context
makes a world of difference.   People will tend to disregard your writings
as the ravings of a lunatic if they don't make any sense or cannot be made
sense of.   Yes, I know that I ended that on a preposition, but do you?

Let's go on to the second sentence, shall we?   The second word is "seem".
That word is spelled correctly.  However, I do believe that the writer did
not intend for that word to be there.   I think he wanted to say something
else.   "I seem that you" doesn't make any sense.   Maybe he wanted to say
"I think that" or maybe "It seems that" or maybe even "I seem to think"
although that's a little awkward.   He doesn't seem to think much.   I
really don't know.   Let's just skip it.

"you havent cracked" is obviously just a total omission of an apostrophe.
We use our friend the apostrophe to indicate a contraction.  In this case,
he has taken the two words "have" and "not" and stuck them together to form
what most people would write as "haven't".   The omission of proper
punctuation here seems to indicate a lack of knowledge of the basic rules
of grammar.

And what's with the equal sign, anyway?   We just won't even go there.

"a couple of years , right??"   Well, there we have two simple problems, a
space before the comma where one shouldn't be, and the dreaded double
question mark phenomenon.   The DQMP occurs when the writer is so upset and
confused whilst writing his question that the right hand inadvertently
stabs at the key twice.  It's sort of like a nervous twitch.   Shortly
after the onset of DQMP, the writer can usually be found perched in a tower
with a high powered rifle.

What have we learned here?   You, probably not much.   You probably knew
all of this.  The original writer, on the other hand, could use the two
following tools.   Hell, most of you could use the following tools:

1)   Use the spell checker.   Now, this will probably not work for words
like M-Technic, but you can skip those words or add them to your personal
dictionary.  But for words like supidity, it will find those and warn you
that you look supid.   (That was a joke.   If you are not laughing, please
go back and re-read that line.)

2)  Proof read your work before sending.   Read it twice.   The first time,
check for the proper words in the proper spaces, grammar, that type of
thing.   Now, after fixing all of that, read it for content.  See if it
makes sense.   If not fix it.   After fixing it, repeat steps 1 and 2
again.   Then read it a third time.   I know I said read it twice, but I
changed my mind.  Read it a third time and determine if it is insulting or
demeaning to anyone besides yourself, and if you would mind if your mother
read it.  If your mother has a good sense of humor, then go ahead and send
it.

Michael

I'm sorry this got so long.   Your lips must be tired.

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