Lets compare the E46 ashtray SR

[Ston Rygar <stonrygar@xxxxxxxxx>]

  The ashtray in the new E46 represents a major step forward in BMW
design excellence and engineering. (This device is correctly known as
the "Schadenfreude Hohe Intensit=E4t Tellersegment" according to Uncle
Olaf who just completed his Weltansicht in Germany.)

I have compared this part (BMW part# 86530X-ASH-57855) with the E36
equivalent part and found some differences worth noting.  The E46 part
seems bigger.  This is of significant interest to those of my E36
friends who found the E36 part too small.  Using a complicated
water-displacement testing procedure that involved cousin Sven's help,
I measured a 1.6632cc increase in volume of the tray, a 2cm greater
width and 1.4 cm greater height, but a .54cm decrease in depth.  The
calculations prove that my perception of greater size is probably
correct.  Further testing may be required.

In the interest of improving my E36 and impressing all of my friends
(the "oohs" and "aahs" thrill me deep inside), I have designed a
retrofit kit.  By suspending my E36 in a custom-made jig welded to the
frame rails and using the leftover parts from the Mechanical Bull ride
in my basement (I bought it from the set of "Urban Cowboy"), I can
rotate the E36 through a 360 degree horizontal axis and +/- 65 degree
vertical.  The +/- 2.4 feet of lateral movement is of relatively
little use for this conversion.  (This jig is called the
"Travoltamatic Gilleyizer").  I then suspended my Sears Craftsman 2
1/2hp drill press above the TG via a laser-aligned strut assembly.=20
Retaining the original Mechanical Bull Ride controls for precision
manipulation of the E36, the TG can be programmed to precision-carve a
larger ashtray opening using the Craftsman drill press spinning at
200rpm.  Care must be taken to use only the sunroof-equipped E36 as
paint damage may occur otherwise.

My first attempt was technically flawed due to a misalignment of the
TG prior to the 3-D E36 manipulation.  To put it simply, I put a big
hole in the dashboard right above the vents.  Being ever-vigilant for
the opportunity to turn adversity into fortune, I installed an
additional Schadenfreude Hohe Intensit=E4t Tellersegment in the dash and
augmented it with remote-control opening, controlled by an auxiliary
horn button on the steering wheel... that way I can flick the ash from
my cheroots without having my hands leave the steering wheel.

Cousin Sven had one comment after seeing my update which I did not
understand... when I asked him if he knew what the Schadenfreude Hohe
Intensit=E4t Tellersegment was for, he replied, "So you can put your
weed in it?"=20

- - Ston Rygar
Tinkerer, Inventor, Love Doctor






=20

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