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<WOB> The *real* reason the Rob Knob works
- Subject: <WOB> The *real* reason the Rob Knob works
- From: KLchmn@xxxxxxx
- Date: Wed, 16 Dec 1998 00:13:48 EST
All right, if you haven't figured it out it was a trick question. Rob led us
down the path of an engineering mechanics description of why the Rob Knob
(heretofore abbreviated as RK) works. Others have branched out and gone into
the psychological reasons such as the brain would think the coolness or the
change factor would cause us to believe that the RK is better than stock.
Here's the real scoop. Trust me, I work for the government and I know a
conspiracy when I see one. The RK is really a sinister plot by the UUC. The
UUC is the Unnamed Underground Conspiracy, a secret agency of a secret
government (code word - *Bubbas*) that seeks world domination, or at least
control over the Hooters girls. This secret government has determined that
BMW digest members, being of superior intellect and taste (with a few
exceptions -- but they wouldn't think that the RK was cool anyway), will see
through their plans of world domination and therefore must be eliminated. The
RK is their weapon of choice.
I will now expose this sinister plot. If this is hard to understand, move
your lips slower as you read along.
The RK was developed by a crack team of scientists working at a secret base in
the middle of the Utah desert. It was at this base that the diabolical RK was
conceived. Existing on a diet of brownies and Rolling Rock, the RK design
team spent literally a few hours developing their plan. Working many minutes
at my keyboard, I was able to uncover this conspiracy. I will expose it now!
Take the choice of materials for the RK; aluminum or titanium. Both are
bright and shiny metals. Also, aluminum and titanium both end in *um*. Is it
a coincidence that plutonium, cesium, strontium, radium, and uranium also end
in *um*? I think not. Not only are the RK's bright, shiny objects; but they
might possibly be radioactive in order to sterilize the RK users. Sterilized
BMW digest members can't reproduce, therefore the gene pool gets a dose of
chlorine. Now this mass of resistance to the secret government's world
domination plan is eliminated.
See, the real reasons behind the RK are easy to see when a trained
professional breaks things down for you. Call your congresscritters now and
inform them of this hideous plot.
You can thank me later.
Kirk Lachman, VP (virtual peon)
Sin City Chapter
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