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Chart the chips (long)



>It's not that I don't believe
>that the software works, it's just I'd like to see something on paper before
>I plop down the cash.
>
>I have dyno charts from Dinan and Authority, but before I see something from
>Jim C I'm going to wait with my DME upgrade.  I know a lot of 328 owners I
>spoke with are in the same  boat.  Is anyone out there with a sharked 328?

Rob,

A True Story.  When I was a UUC virgin newbie and the car was barely broken
in, I gathered all the charts for the 'best' '95 M3 upgrade chip upgrade. I
had this wonderful chart from AutoThority, one from Dinan, and one from
Racing Dynamics. Conforti? Never heard of him and he didn't have a chart.  

AutoThority had the BEST chart and I poured all over these mappings. So I
drove over there (local, as it is for you, too) and they talked the trash -
and I walked out with their "CHIP", "Performance Exhaust", and "FLOWTECH"
to the tune of $ 1,700.00.  Charts said that with all (3) installed I'd
gain 43 HP.

Hot Damn. Gonna be fast now.

Now, I had done some informal 0-80 tests with a stopwatch beforehand, with
the car stock. Lotta runs so I had a benchmark. Went home and installed the
goodies after 10:00 p.m. in the best UUC tradition. Repeated the
tests....same road...same weather...same stopwatch. Car made great noises
now with the pipe and FlowTech. Hmmmmmm....car also was slightly slower
than stock, about .2 seconds.  What was this?!!!??!

I complained. And they blew me off. Said the car was too new and needed to
be broken in. Trust us.  Faxed me tech docs I didn't understand. "Bring it
to our dyno and we'll run it against your factory chip - you'll only have
to pay for the dyno time."  Yeah right....another $ 100.00.  Snowjob.

So I joined the Digest. And wisdom was reigned upon me.  I learned.  The
AutoThority Performance Exhaust ( $ 795.00) was a B & B Triflo ( $ 575.00)
with their name lasered in the tips, nothing more.  The "$ 269.00 Flow
Tech" was a $ 39.00 K & N with a rubber hose and a mounting bracket.  The
chip was crap.  Charts. Yeah, they had those great charts.

So I trashed them brutally on this forum. The Digest. Cost them
sales...word got around.  At O'Fest '97 in Waterville Valley, Chris Woodson
(AutoThority Sales Manager at the time) took me aside and said, 

Chris: "We'd really like to make things right for you. Our early chips were
all wrong - we know that now - and we'd like to help you out and get some
positive press from you. Let us make you a new chip."

Me: "No way.  I have a Jim Conforti chip in the car and it kicks - I won't
trade it out. But you take this crappy EPROM back and I'll swap you for an
X-Brace.  

Chris says, "O.K. - we'll work it out. Just take it easy on us on the
Internet, O.K?"

So they get the chip back (hell, it was just laying in the toolbox anyways)
and I never heard back from them. I call Chris two months later: "Hey
Chris...what about that X-Brace?" 

Chris: "Oh yeah.  Well, here's what we'll do. Allow you a $ 150 credit
towards one and we sell them for $ 350.00."

Me: <laughing> "Well ain't you guys got the balls.  You take a stock BMW
X-Brace I can buy for $ 135.00 and paint it blue then charge me 'only' an
additional $ 200.00 for it as a token of your good faith."

Chris: "You can buy them for $ 135.00?  Where?  We're paying $ 190.00 from
BMW of Fairfax."

Me: "See ya Chris." (Chris now works at Electrodyne/Racing Dynamics).
 
Anyways, I made a long story out of this but the fact is you can't trust
the charts you get unless you verify them yourself via a dyno run. In my
opinion, and that's what it is, nobody can program a DME like Jim Conforti.
 He (and his dealers) will also give you your money back it you think its
not worth it (right Jim?...I am right, aren't I Jim <grin>?).

It's my understanding too, that the flash programming for the 328 is even a
more dramatic upgrade than the old EPROM replacements us OBD 1 guys do.
You'll see dramtic increases.

And, I hold a special place in my heart for AutoThority, who will forever
be a non-sponsor of PizzaFest. "Oh," some may say, "but that was a long
time ago (1995)...they're probably all right now." 

Yep..betcha they are. (wink)

Duane Collie
SVR / UUC / Bubba

 

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