So ya wanna go fer a test drive, eh?

["Duane Collie" <drcollie@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

I find all this banter of 'discrimination' at the dealerships based on
age/sex/race/BEER PREFERENCE to be rather amusing. Not that I care, really,
because my preferred method of buying cars is over the phone and therefore
not subject myself to the inane banalities of the dealership experience.
But I digress.......a story:

Bubba Keith and I were recovering from PizzaFest II and went to Heishman's
Porsche/BMW the next day as a mere 4 days of eating cars was not enough to
satisfy our need for MORE CAR STUFF. So we come in and wander over to the
Bimwad side of the dealership.....zzzzzzzzzzzzzz......seen one Z3 ya seen
'em all no matter how they package it.  528's, couple of 7's....Nuthin'
exiting so we bop on over to the Porsche side of the lot and
!!!!B-E-H-O-L-D!!!!  we both fall madly in lust with a new silver (of
course) 996 with this wonderful, killer aerodynamic package on it.

We drool like two school kids.  Ever feel like you've gone beyond merely
wanting a car and NEED one...as in have to have it or I'm gonna die?  Oh
baby - this ride is the bad dawg.  A cool $ 82 G as equipped but we ain't
a-started negotiatin' yet.  So we start talkin' the trash to the saleman -
friendly chap - and I'm like, "Dr. Battan - would you be able to park this
in the hospital lot?" and "you can cancel your airline ticket back to
Colorado and drive this one home".  Keith is playing into the game with "and
how is your stock portfolio holding up Mr. Collie?".  Make no mistake, we
were scheming how to buy a pair of these cars and thinking "wife or
car....wife or car..", tough choice.

Soooooo....not wanting to drive the car on a whim (afraid to REALLY gotta
have it then), we talk more with the salesperson...another 15
minutes....then - I can't stand it any longer....I ASK FOR THE TEST DRIVE!
Arrrrghhhhhhhh!!!! (I'm falling!!....I'm falling!!).  Of course this is
dangerous. Like stealing a kiss from a Hooters lass.  Ho boy....could get
hooked.

Anyways...whilest Keith and I are staring right at two of these widdle
Porsches on the lot, we are told "Sorry, we have nothing for you to test
drive". Right.  O.K.  So that 996 over dere with the dealer tags on it is a
...mirage....yeah...that's it....a mirage.  I looked at the salesman and
said...."You're kidding, right?"

Saleman sez, "No sir, the green one is sold and the silver one has 665 miles
on it and we don't want to put on any more". He continues with "Last week a
gentleman came in at opening, very professional, and wanted to buy the car.
He wrote out a personal check for the entire amount and said for us to work
up the lease numbers as well and he'd either buy it or lease it after a
short test drive".  Now I'm intrigued so I'm still listening....saleman
says, "He returns the car nine hours later after putting 500 miles on it,
said he didn't like it, and wanted his check back...so we handed it back to
him and we got screwed."  No more 996 teat drives for a while.

I laugh. This guy was slick and did he ever 'take' them.  So boyz n' girls
the moral of THAT story is if you really wanna go for a test ride, write a
check !!!!!

Duane Collie
"Ya gotta love a car that has a wing on it that looks like it can kill three
pedestrians with one tight turn at a crosswalk" (996 with aero pkg.)  -
words to live by.

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