<WOB> Car Cleaning

[Adrian North <anorth@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

>Date: Wed, 05 Aug 1998 16:26:22
>From: Donn York <dyork@domain.elided>
>Subject: [none]

>I recently bought a '97 328i sedan in Montreal Blue (dark blue).  Every
>time a bird goes on the car, it leaves a stain.  I wax the car
regularly
>and wash it every week (or as soon as I see that a bird decided
Montreal
>Blue looked like a good spot to squat).  

That's what you're doing wrong! It's a well known fact that birds
(especially pigeons) watch from a distance as you wash your car. Why do
you think you never see any when you're washing - it's like a war.
They've sent out undercover agents. As soon as you've finished
washing/waxing, word goes round the avian community. To a bird, going on
a newly washed car holds more status than owning an Rolls (for humans
obviously - what use would birds have for a roller?)

Anyway, there's a proven correlation between the frequency of car
washing and the frequency of Avian excrement damage. So the obvious way
around it is to never wash your car. This is the technique used by most
repmobile drivers.

However, birds are quite clever, and if they realise you are not washing
to prevent them relieving themselves on your car, they will retaliate.
You will then start to see little bird footprints in the muck. It's
birds that write the 'Clean Me' in the muck on vans, not kids like most
people assume (kids these days wouldn't know how to spell clean!)!!

Basically, it's a no-win situation! You either have bird poop, or a
large family of lesser-spotted warbling armadillo birds nesting in your
rear wheel arch.

Just remembering back, someone suggested shrink-wrapping windscreen
wiper arms - Maybe you could shrink-wrap your car? Basically prevent
contact of ANY sort between paint and outside world.

Or get a re-spray in oil-based paints.
Paint it creamy white/yellow with little random black spots, and it'd be
impossible to tell it's been used as a toilet
Just some thoughts anyway.

Adrian
'85 316

No, I'm not bored - REALLY HONEST!!!!

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