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RE: <E36> M3 body flex, locks, funky noises

mjkobb@domain.elided (Michael J. Kobb) writes:

I can help with a couple of your noises, which I have experienced with
my 1996 328i.

 >  1) When hitting large bumps, or when turning into sloped driveways,
> (things which would cause body flex), I hear a "click" noise from the trim
> piece on my B pillar.  

I had exactly the same problem. I assume you're talking about the black
piece on the outside of the door, just behind the window. You can easily
remove it by pulling out the rubber trim and unscrewing the three screws
you'll find under the trim. (The trim is just tucked back in when you're
finished.) I solved the problem by purchasing some adhesive foam
weatherstripping at my hardware store and affixing it to the inside of
the trim piece. I had to tinker a little with the positioning before I
got it right, but the foam tightens the trim enough that it stops
clicking. My dealer informs me they do a similar fix with something they
call "automotive foam". 


 >  2) When I first start the car and it's cold, I get a really strange
> whining or humming that sounds like vibration from a small electric motor.


This is something to do with the cold start system. I asked my dealer
about it, and he didn't seem to know what I was talking about. But
friends with the same car report the same noise, and when I asked the
same question on the digest after buying my car I discovered it was
quite normal. Mine lasts for about two minutes each time I start the car
in the morning. I describe it as similar in tone to a vacuum cleaner. I
wouldn't worry about it.

 >  6) Finally (whew!) after driving, my catalytic makes that really
loud
> "plink, plink, plink, plink" noise that hot metal sometimes makes as it
> cools.  

Mine's the same. In the garage this goes on for a half hour or so. After
four months it shows no signs of stopping. I've heard other BMWs do the
same thing, and Mercedes as well. Reminds me of those movies where the
cops used to discover whether the murder suspect had been out in the car
by feeling the hood to see if it was hot. I hope no criminals try to use
the excuse "the car's been sitting there all night" with a BMW. The
crackling will surely give them away.

David