Fw: If Santa answered his mail honestly...

["bill.bergman" <bill.bergman@domain.elided>]

----- Original Message -----
From: john pedrin
To: Topbrass7911@domain.elided ; Tom Minnich ; stuart varon ; Richard Tato ; Larry
Yturralde ; George Zugel ; Carol Sherwood ; bill.bergman
Sent: Friday, December 13, 2002 8:12 PM
Subject: Fw: If Santa answered his mail honestly...



----- Original Message -----
From: Sawyer
To: John ; Christine ; Dominic ; lisa ; Beth
Sent: Friday, December 13, 2002 6:40 AM
Subject: Fw: If Santa answered his mail honestly...



----- Original Message -----
From: Jeanine
To: sophia ; Obabyred@domain.elided ; Nicole & Jim Peluso ; Lucia ; Greta ;
Christine ; Brian ; Beth
Sent: Monday, December 09, 2002 7:59 PM
Subject: Fw: If Santa answered his mail honestly...



----- Original Message -----
From: Kevin Couture
To: The Swierzowski's ; susan tolson ; Susan Argotsinger ; ron plumb ; Robert
Kosowicz ; rebjim1 ; kelly macdougall ; Jim & Kim Dwyer ; Jewels6305@domain.elided ;
Jennifer Curthoys ; Jeanine Sawyer ; Jaime Kosowicz ; Jack Jones ; garry ;
Const ance Shakow ; Cheapcards@domain.elided ; Burns, Tom A (CORP) ;
bsanfor1@domain.elided ; bradley reed ; B&C ; Nutronbaumer@domain.elided
Sent: Sunday, December 08, 2002 8:34 PM
Subject: Fw: If Santa answered his mail honestly...



Sent: Sunday, December 08, 2002 7:06 PM
Subject: If Santa answered his mail honestly...


If Santa answered his mail honestly...
 > >
 > > Dear Santa
 > > I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all
 > > yeer
 > > yer Frend,
 > > BiLLy
 > >
 > > Dear Billy,
 > > Nice spelling.  You're on your way to a career in lawn care.  How
 > > about I send you a book so you can learn to read and write?  I'm
 > > giving your older brother the space ranger.  At least HE can spell!
 > > Santa
 > >
 > > *********************************
 > >
 > > Dear Santa,
 > > I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is
 > > peace and joy in the world for everybody!
 > > Love,
 > > Sarah
 > >
 > > Dear Sarah,
 > > Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?
 > > Santa
 > >
 > > *********************************
 > >
 > > Dear Santa,
 > > I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my
 > > mommy and daddy to get back together.  Please see what you can
 > > do?
 > > Love
 > > Teddy
 > >
 > > Dear Teddy,
 > > Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a
 > > hurricane.  Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to
 > > your frigid mom, who rides his ass constantly?  It's time to give
 > > up that dream.  Let me get you some nice Legos instead.
 > > Santa
 > >
 > > *********************************
 > >
 > > Dear Santa,
 > > I want a new bike, a Playstation 2, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog,
 > > a drum kit, a pony and a tuba.
 > > Love,
 > > Francis
 > >
 > > Dear Francis,
 > > Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays?  I bet you're gay, I'll set
 > > you up with a Barbie.
 > > Santa
 > >
 > > *********************************
 > >
 > > Dear Santa,
 > > I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots
 > > for your reindeer outside the back door.
 > > Love,
 > > Susan
 > >
 > > Dear Susan,
 > > Milk gives me the runs and carrots make the deer fart in my face
 > > when riding in the sleigh.  You want to do me a favor?  Leave me
 > > a bottle of scotch.
 > > Santa
 > >
 > > *********************************
 > >
 > > Dear Santa,
 > > What do you do the other 364 days of the year?  Are you busy
 > > making toys?
 > > Your friend,
 > > Thomas
 > >
 > > Dear Thomas,
 > > All the toys are made in China.  I have a condo in Vegas, where
 > > I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films.  I
 > > unwind by drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of
 > > cocktail waitresses while losing money at the craps table.  Hey,
 > > you wanted to know.
 > > Santa
 > >
 > > *********************************
 > >
 > > Dear Santa,
 > > Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're
 > > awake, like in the song?
 > > Love,
 > > Jessica
 > >
 > > Dear Jessica,
 > > Are you really that gullible?  Good luck in whatever you do.  I'm
 > > skipping your house.
 > > Santa
 > >
 > > *********************************
 > >
 > > Dear Santa,
 > > I really really want a puppy this year.  Please, please, please,
 > > PLEASE, PLEASE could I have one?
 > > Timmy
 > >
 > > Dear Timmy,
 > >
 > > That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap
 > > doesn't work with me.  You're getting a sweater again.
 > > Santa
 > >
 > > *********************************
 > >
 > > Dearest Santa,
 > > We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our
 > > home?
 > > Love,
 > > Marky
 > >
 > > Dear Mark,
 > > First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting
 > > your ass whipped at school.  Second, you don't live in a house, you
 > > live in a low-rent apartment complex.  Third, I get inside your pad
 > > just like the boogeyman does, through your bedroom window.
 > > Sweet Dreams,
 > > Santa
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