Alfa Pleasure, Alfa Pain...

[Jon Pike <jhpike@domain.elided>]

Well...

After a fair amount of searching,  we found a car with a pretty low rust 
body,  apparently no major
bondo restructuring,  only one small dent.. (77 Spider, btw)  and just 
before the Convention..

We had given up on having an Alfa to go to the convention in,  and 
suddenly,  here was our chance!
Engine sounded good.. wasn't dripping oil,  we were assured it wasn't 
burning it.. and they didn't have to add any all that often.  A short 
test drive that early evening,  and it seemed in pretty good shape. 
Marcia was thrilled, and we decided to go for it, before someone else 
got to it.  I wanted to get a mechanic's opinion,  but all that I asked 
couldn't do it till next week.. everyone wanted theirs fixed before the 
Convention, as well as people leaving for vacation..

So we bring down some cash,  and sign the papers... a question was the 
smog.  We were assured it had had no problems when they bought it,  the 
PO had it done the same day,  6mo ago.  On that,  and the seeming 
sincerity of the nice couple,  we said we would take care of getting it 
smogged.  
I drove her home,  with Marcia following..  Ah, after +15yrs,  an Alfa 
again!!  Glorious it was, driving a Spider down a freeway at the end of 
a warm LA day...  remembering why I love these cars as much as I do.

My joy was somewhat clouded when the oil pressure gauge began to dance a 
bit..  After a few minutes,  I thought I'd better check it out...  3 
quarts later I had oil above the min mark.  Yes,  I hardly believe it 
myself, but I somehow managed not to look earlier...  I also had been 
noticing smoke while driving to the freeway..  I hadn't noticed any 
before...

I stopped at the restraunt that Marcia and I were to meet at,  about 10 
miles down the road..  called the owner, he was surprised at the low oil 
and smoke..  said it didnt burn oil.. only a quart every month and a 
half or so..

At any rate..  making the story shorter..  about 50-60 miles home,  and 
the oil is noticiably lower than it was.. drove it around some more and 
found at the 100 mile mark,  it had drank a full quart of 20/50w.

Needless to say...  I'm upset.  Both that I am hard pressed to believe 
the PO's managed to not know about the serious oil consumption..  and 
that I didn't check SEVERAL things that I KNOW I should have checked, 
ahead of time,  just because we got excited.

The rest of the weekend was great..  the Convention was a blast.. met a 
lot of nice people,  even a few Digestians.  Went out on a Road Rally, 
(added some more oil) got rather sunburned,  and dosed it again at the 
Concours the next day..

Anyway..  after talking to a lot of folks,  and listening to the tech 
session..  I have some ideas where the car might be at,  and maybe what 
to do.

I've had varying opinions on the oil burning.  I tend to think it might 
be mostly valve guides,  since what I'm seeing is after a long deaccel, 
then going back on throttle, there's a large amount of smoke.   Perhaps 
some smaller amount under continious hard acceleration,  though I'm not 
sure.  Plugs 1, 2 are fairly normal looking,  3 is rather wet and black, 
4 less so, but still damp.  I get a dry (unless there is so much oil 
the wet cylinders are really wet) compression test readings of 150 155 
140 148.  This makes me feel a little better.. in that perhaps the rings 
aren't where a lot of the oil is going..  but can I make this 
conclusion?  I've been told that "valve guides can't cause that much oil 
consumption,  it's gotta be the bottom end"..  but wonder about that. 
Valve clearances are all about .001-.002" closer than they should be..

The car starts pretty easily,  but this is 75-85 degree So CA weather. 
The thermostatic actuator has a nice white crusty substance growing out 
of the seam where the capillary enters the plunger end...  I assume it's 
leaked and is shot, and the car has been adjusted to live without it. 
This alone I am told will prevent any chance of passing smog..  
What are the chances of the cat working at this advanced age? ('77) 
I've been told that it should "burn" all that oil smoke,  and if you 
see it it's dead.  Or,  you can oil the heck out of them, and they could 
still work.  I have no clue.  The car has something over 116K,  (if not 
216K..  and in the records, I discovered in '98 it had a broken speedo 
cable replaced after ??? time)  
Rounding things off, there is somewhat more rust than I noticed at 
first, (still below average of the ones I've seen lately)  there are 
many suspicious sounds in the engine/transmission,  and it looks like 
there might have been a few uses of the front and rear bumper, and sump 
guard, that may have had some effect on the body.   Interior, top and 
accessories are pretty good..  Lots of creaks and groans in the 
suspension,  a touch of torque steer..

Did I say I was kicking myself?

My plans are,  get the car to a pre-smog test, to see how impossible 
things might be,  get an Alfa mechanic's overall evaluation (like one 
should ALWAYS do BEFORE any money changes hands)  talk to the PO about 
what they want to do.  In CA,  the PO is supposed to be responsible for 
the smog check,  my saying I'd do it instead dosen't waive my right to 
have them supply it in smoggable shape.  I would have to go to civil 
court to break the sale,  if it came to a fight.  (other thing to ALWAYS 
do, have them take it to the smog test!)

Anyway..  a lot will wait on the evaluation,  and the deeper questions 
getting answered. I would probably do a lot of my own work.. Pulling off 
the head and getting it overhauled is one thing.. going thru the whole 
engine is another.  There is a lot of work to be done, besides the 
drivetrain,  I thought it was worth the middle to high range price 
because of a nearly rust clean body, newer interior and top,  and an 
engine in pretty good shape. Now, looking at doubling that price of the 
car by doing a full engine rebuild,  and then starting on all the other 
things..

I'm beginning to get the impression the PO's drove it to the grocery 
store, once every three days.. and 50 mi a month was their average, to 
make their claim of "adding oil only every 6-8 weeks".  As well as not 
noticing the oil had gotten down to the danger level..  Though that 
would imply they never added any over their six month ownership...

Apologies for the venting...  inbetween the blissful moments I've been 
not a happy camper.  But, it's time to learn the lessons, handle the 
situation, and get on with life.

I'd appriciate any suggestions or opinions, or further evaluations and 
tests to make..  to figure out what's going on here.

Jon and Marcia - finally found the Other Woman, and she's a real Bi*ch..

77 Spider (smokes and drinks to excess, other bad habits)
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