Courtesy and diplomacy

[C M Smith <cmsmith@domain.elided>]

I of course know nothing about either, which makes me an expert on the kind 
of post that Fred recently indulged in.

Being blunt isn't the same thing as being rude.

I'd be amazed if Zach took offence, as everyone on this digest who pays 
attention knows that Fred Dimatteo is blunt, and to the point. If you don't 
like that, use the delete key.

BTW, I'd avoid using the delete key where Fred is concerned until AFTER you 
read the post for useful stuff. A sensitive ego can cost you valuable info.

J Hertzman (as usual) puts his finger right on it, though in an unconnected 
context. The medium of e mail is immediate and to some extent stream of 
consciousness. No one in their right mind would get offended by an e mail 
unless a personal follow up revealed the writer intended to offend. In 
similar fashion, no one would seriously challenge an e mail on the grounds 
of inadequate research. The posts are for sharing information, not 
publication of learned  treatises.

I am a litigation lawyer, a member of one of the most superficially polite 
and fundamentally rude professions there is. I do not have a thin skin. 
However, I like to tell people that if they are in any doubt about whether 
I intended to offend them, then rest assured I did not. I would never waste 
a good insult on an unimportant issue. If you are offended by what I said, 
and have no doubt at all about that, then I almost certainly intended to 
offend you. If you are wondering "whut the he#@? did he mean by that", I 
was just unintentionally undiplomatic due to a personality defect: I find 
it hard to tell when I'm offending someone because I take offence so rarely 
at what others say. If you want to insult me you're going to have to work 
at it, and you better have a thick skin also because you are likely to be 
laughed at.

Point made I hope.


Michael Smith
Calgary, Alberta,Canada
91 Alfa 164L
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