Fwd: Fw: Auto Accidents (no Alfa content, but funny)

[Alan Lambert <lechefgerard@domain.elided>]

>   Subject: Auto Accidents
> 
> 
>   Subject: Just the facts.....
> 
>   Many of us have experienced the trauma of a traffic accident and
> have had to
>   try and summarise just exactly what had happened in a few words on
> an
>   insurance claim form. The following list was recently published by
> one of
>   Canada's leading rental car firms:
> 
>   . Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a
> tree that I don't have.
> 
>   . The other car collided with mine without giving me any warning of
> it's intentions.
> 
>   . I thought my window was down until I put my arm through it.
> 
>   . I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.
> 
>   . The pedestrian hit me and went underneath my car.
> 
>   . The truck reversed through the windscreen into my wife's face.
> 
>   . The other chap was all over the road, so I had to swerve several
> times before I hit him.
> 
>   . I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my
> mother-in-law and drove straight over the embankment.
> 
>   . The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small
> car with a big mouth.
> 
>   . I was thrown from my car as it left the road and was later found
> in a ditch by some stray cows.
> 
>   . The telephone pole was approaching fast and I was attempting to
> swerve out of it's way when it hit me.
> 
>   . I couldn't stop in time and my car crashed into the other
> vehicle, the occupants of which left immediately on a holiday with
> injuries.
> 
>   . In an attempt to kill a fly I drove straight into a telephone
> pole.
> 
>   . I'd been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I
> reached the intersection, a hedge suddenly sprang up obscuring my
> vision and I didn't see the other vehicle.
> 
>   . I'd been driving my car for forty years when I fell asleep at the
> wheel and had the accident.
> 
>   . I was on my way to the doctor's with rear end trouble when my
> universal collapsed causing the accident.
> 
>   . As I approached the intersection, a stop sign suddenly appeared
> where no stop sign had ever appeared before and I was unable to stop
> in time to avoid the accident.
> 
>   . To avoid crashing into the car in front I ran over the
> pedestrian.
> 
>   . My car was legally parked as it reversed into the other vehicle.
> 
>   . An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle, and then
> vanished.
> 
>   . The pedestrian had absolutely no idea where to go, so I ran over
> him.
> 
>   . I told the policeman I was uninjured, but upon taking my hat off,
> I found I had a fractured skull.
> 
>   . I saw the slow-moving, sad-faced, old gentleman as he bounced off
> the bonnet of my car.
> 
>   . I was sure the old lady would never make it to the other side of
> the road, so I hit her.
> 
> 
> 
> 
>
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Get more from the Web. FREE MSN Explorer download :
> http://explorer.msn.com
> 
> 
> 


=====
Best Regards,

Alan Lambert
Yahoo! Health - your guide to health and wellness
http://health.yahoo.com
--
to be removed from alfa, see /bin/digest-subs.cgi
or email "unsubscribe alfa" to majordomo@domain.elided