jalapeno peppers (no alfa content)

["Greg Stewart" <gt_veloce@domain.elided>]

The recent thread on hot stuff in the eyes (battery acid, etc.) reminded me 
of an incident that happened to a friend of mine when we were still in high 
school.

After school one day, my friend (we'll call him Bob) decided to whip up a 
batch of nachos with cheese and jalapenos.  In the middle of dicing the 
jalapenoes, nature called, and Bob adjourned to the washroom to attend to 
business.  Unfortunately for Bob, he failed to wash the jalapeno juice off 
his hands prior to handling his equipment.  Considerable burning discomfort 
resulted.

Looking to solve his fiery dilemma, Bob phoned his father at work and asked 
for advice.  "Put some dairy on it" was the suggested cure.  Bob ran to the 
refrigerator, pulled out a tub of yogurt, and rather than simply applying 
some to the affected area, he instead immersed the entire appendage directly 
into the tub of yogurt.

At this point Bob's younger sister walked through the back door and into the 
kitchen.  Needless to say, she was slightly surprised to find her brother 
standing there with his pants at his ankles and a tub of yogurt pressed 
against his groin.

Bob's attempts at explanation were quite futile, and his family teased him 
relentlessly for years afterwards.

Moral of the story:  always lock your doors.


Greg Stewart
Ottawa, Ontario, Canada

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