Off & Near

[Will Owen <nashwill@domain.elided>]

John wrote:
"...The other part of the story is that the export
models were marked "Offside Undo", as distinct from
the home-market "Nearside Undo", and the common
presence of both Nearside and Offside hubcaps on the
same car suggested that British assembly-lime workers
were just as haphazard (or inebriated) as other
nationalities."

Then Len wrote

"Well, I learn something new every day. Having spent
(misspent?) much of my youth around British cars, I
had always thought that "nearside" and "offside" had
something to do with driver's or passenger's sides of
the car..."

Okay - neither of you misspent enough time around'em.
Offside is the left side of a horse - the side from
which you dismount - and nearside is, of course, the
right, or the side you park near the wall or hitching
post. The knockoff caps on the right side of the car
would say "Nearside Undo," and those on the left would
say "Offside Undo," if the threads were differently
handed on each side (like the lug nuts on older 105
Alfas; note Alfa content). If not, then caps on both
sides would undo towards the offside in accordance
with the generally universal rule of "Lefty Loosey,
Righty Tighty."

Is all of this goofy enough for you? Shall we get back
to flapper valves now?

Will Owen
Nashville, TN
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