RE: Why Alfa and the "Always Looking For Another" bug begins to b ite (long)

[Jonathan Wolff <jon@domain.elided>]

Tom Callahan's story of falling asleep and going off the road reminds me of
my big crash.  Not in an Alfa, but a Renault 11 Electronic (with the cute
digital dash and voice synthesiser).

Back in my university days I was heading down to Southampton for the start
of term with all of my possessions crammed tightly into the car.  It was
dark, had been raining lightly for some time, and I guess I was a little
tired.  I was on a two-lane-each-way motorway (is there a more succinct way
of saying that?) in the outside lane, passing slower traffic at about 70mph
(no really, I was driving at the speed limit for once).  It felt like I hit
a puddle, with pulled the car right, and I realised that my two offside
wheels were driving along the rough, grass and gravel surface of the central
reservation.  My immediate reaction was 'argh, I must get back on the road',
so I steered left.  Nothing happened.  I steered a bit more, and suddenly
the car decided to respond.  I was spinning, and I dimly remember trying to
countersteer.  By some miracle the car I had been passing must have got out
of the way because I careered across the inside lane, hitting the Armco
crash barrier head on.

This barrier was guarding a fairly deep ditch (probably say 15 feet deep and
30 wide) running alongside the motorway, but just a little further down the
ditch turned into a dyke or a hill and there was no barrier.  Unfortunately
there was a short section of unprotected ditch.  The car's momentum somehow
took it into the ditch (probably via one more spin), facing directly away
from the road.

The first thing I remember was the car saying 'Left headlight not
functioning, right headlight not functioning' or something similar.  The
first thing I did after turning off the ignition was to reach into the
passenger footwell to retrieve and turn off my portable CD player, which had
been sitting on the seat beside me, plugged into the stereo and playing.
When I got out of the car I found that everything in front of the front
wheels had been crushed, with no significant damage rearward of that.
Somehow the front-hinged bonnet had sprung up and folded itself neatly under
the front wheels.  My luggage was all fine - my computer worked first time,
and the only damage I remember was that part of the plastic logo on my
Marshall guitar amp had broken off.  The only injury I sustained was a few
scratches climbing out of the ditch.

The moral?  I think my best advice to anyone in a similar situation is to
slow down, and not try to steer out of trouble!

Jonathan.

- -- 
Jonathan Wolff <jon@domain.elided>
Programmer
Argonaut Software Ltd.

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