montreal in a coma, my Top ten

["Luke Kowalski" <lkowalski@domain.elided>]

this did not come throught the first time...


here are my suggestions on what to do with a Montreal in a coma:
WARNING! 
The following might be offensive, sick, or plain weird:
1. Construct an aquarium in the hatch by building a plexiglass box to match 
the interior contours. Fill with fishes (piranhas) and present to owner as a 
surprise gift.
2. Sit on hood for hours, preferably in the Lotus position, chanting 
rhythmically. Try to imitate the V8 at idle sound, guaranteed to be more 
soothing than any monk routines or that spa new age music.
3. Drain oil onto the garage floor. Stage a nude wrestling match with 
hookers. Then build a website with a live cam feed and insrtantly become am 
e-commerce millionaire (a.k.a. "startup in the garage idea").
4. Take a picture of yourself sticking a banana in a tailpipe and send it 
off to your Hollywood agent telling him/her that you are ready to star in 
the next Beverly Hills Cop 5 1/2.
5. Detail and wax the car to thank your friend for being able to look at 
it.
6. Have you ever seem monkey hygiene on National Geographic specials? Groom 
the headliner.
7.Have the car hoisted to the top of the MIT dome.
8. Use it as an exercycle. Jack up one end (front). Laying flat on your 
back, spin the wheel with your legs (hamster wheel).
9. Just sit in inside the cabin changing gears and eating crackers (That is 
how I spent my youth and look how I turned out---well, except for that one 
incident where my friend Rob, the Sowula, released the parking brake and we 
rolled out into traffic from our parking space. Sowula ran away, I got 
grounded).
10. The most obvious thing to do for last: Try to get it running and go 
charging through your local canyons, reenact Ferris Bueller's Day Off, go to 
a an American 70's muscle car meet and see if anyone notices that it is not 
a Dodge Challenger.

thx 
luke of San Mateo, CA
74 Spider, 82 GTV6, 95 164LS, 99 Audi A6 Q

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