Re "Woman and Cars" misses point

[David Ziglin <davidz@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

Joe .....  this only confirms my point.  You are *not* describing a
difference in innate brain function between males and females but rather
differences between men and women in our culture.  *This has to be the very
most common and serious misunderstanding when talking about this subject.*

To the extent that your generalization is accurate ( I am at least one of
those exceptions; I very much relate to your girlfriend's attitude. ), this
reflects our society's enculturation and certainly not brain anatomy.  Now
that you understand that not every complainer like me and your GF
necessarily want you to offer solutions that you are not in a position to
do, you will *learn* to sympathize first and hold back on the attempted
problem solving.  That we are *not* mindless slaves to our brain chemistry
alone is vital to remember.  We *can* educate ourselves beyond
enculturation; this forum in fact is helping me - for one - to do that.

"Chemicals DO affect your brain" is like saying that water affects the
ocean.  It sure does !!!  However, Nature *cannot* be separated from
Nurture.  For example, while alcohol has an influence on the brain, *how*
an individual behaves under that influence is very much culturally
influenced.


The PMS you refer to is *not* universally experienced in other cultures.


When some stark raving putz in a monster truck nearly hits one's spider
because s/he doesn't see it, one can react in many many ways to the flood
of pissedofferine that floods the brain.  How one reacts in a situation
like this is *not* simply a matter of chemical dumping (nature) but is as
well a matter of our "nurture."  More accurately, they influence each other.

The danger offered by "Men Mars" popwriters is that they "teach"
us/reinforce the nonsense that "that's just the way men are, that's just
the way women are."  Bullshit!!!

On a recent radio talk show on Wisconsin Public Radio one of these
comicpsychologists referred to the "men never ask for directions" number.
I called to tell him that I always ask for directional help when lost
because I do not feel "male-ego" threatened; I have "thought" myself well
past that silliness.

The popchologist said, "Well, you see, you have some feminine traits."
How's that for begging the question!!

Respectfully,

David


>>>>>The other day, my girlfriend, who is at least as competent a driver as I
am and who regularly dismantles and re-mantles parts of her car (a turbo
Supra) and otherwise does plenty of
wrenching/hammering/digging/mowing/repairing type things, called and
began complaining about a situation at work.  My immediate response was
to try to analyze the problem and help her solve it - which made her
angry.  She did not WANT help getting the problem fixed - what she
wanted was sympathy, and to vent.  Very, very different from what I want
when faced with a problem.  "Men are from Mars..." describes this
situation and this basic difference between most men and women VERY
precisely, and VERY accurately.  Certainly there is plenty of tripe in
the pop-psych literature, but this particular book is absolutely correct
in assessing some of the basic differences between MOST men and women.

Also, anybody who insists there is no difference between men and women's
brains hasn't spent any time around a woman with PMS. Chemicals DO
affect your brain, and we naturally get different ones in different
doses.

 -joe <<<<<<<

>THE FEMALE VS THE MALE BRAIN :  This is an extremely delicate topic and
>*not* because of political correctness questions.  The subject is
further
>complicated because we are awash in pop-pseudoscience such as MEN ARE
FROM
>MARS, WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS.  Especially as many many people *want*
there to
>be distinct male/female differences beyond the obvious, these cutesy
pie,
>mass-appeal publications are in popular demand and make dime-a-dozen
>pop-psychologists wealthy.

David

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