women - expectations - and cars - (long)

["Megan Elora Caverly" <meca@xxxxxxx>]

Another woman delurking ... As many have said, (American) culture and
society do not encourage girls and women to be too intimately involved
with cars, but it goes beyond that I think.  Working with your hands
mechanically in a way that gets you dirty/stained is not work that
gets much respect in America, regardless of gender.  A lot of people
(women especially?) just don't like to get seriously dirty, but beyond
that being a mechanic - professional or shadetree - just isn't a high
status job even if the car you're working on is. Additionally, the
stereotyping that goes along with working on your own car can be a
turn-off to many as well.  It's just not seen as being very feminine.
My division chief complained today that she had hurt her finger
pumping her own gas this morning - her (joking) comment was, "If real
men don't eat quiche, real women don't pump gas".  Her attitude leaves
little room for the Alfisti understanding of the benefits of forming a
blood-bond with your car. Worse though are those like some neighbors
we had that delighted in calling me a dyke everytime I worked on one
of our cars.

On the other hand the younger neighborhood kids think it's pretty cool
that a lady can work on a car too - after they got over their surprise
and shock, which says quite a bit about the attitude environment they
are growing up in.  One little girl came home from school one day and
told me that she talked about me working on my car for show-and-tell,
so maybe I've set a good example, not just a weird one! I know I had
an influence on my sister: about ten years ago she decided that if I
could change my own oil so could she.  So, she asked me how to do it
and I xeroxed the appropriate pictures from a manual for her, loaned
her a couple of wrenches, etc.  The next weekend she called up really
p-o'ed.  She had succeeded in draining her oil and changing the
filter, but was really frustrated trying to refill the engine:  she
wanted to know how in the hell she was supposed to get 4 qts of oil
down the dipstick!  I laughed so hard she wouldn't speak to me for
about a week.  You can guess the kind of car care education we had
growing up - oh well, at least we knew how to check our oil! 
Everything else I've learned has been from my husband and was a
combination offshoot of his attitude and my curiousity about these
great cars that are such a thrill to drive.

To be honest though, I'm far more willing than capable - If kitchens
have sous-chefs, I guess I'm kind of a sous-mechanic.  The
satisfaction in doing something myself is immense, but so is the
frustration when I realize that I'm just not strong enough or skilled
enough for some things.  Among our fleet, two cars are "mine" and
consequently I'm primarily responsible for them getting whatever
attention they need.  Jay is a skilled and intelligent mechanic and
super about working with me - which makes ALL the difference in the
world - but what I can do, I do do.  It's amazing though how skilled I
am some times and how embarrassingly inept others!  Consequently
although all our cars run, "my" cars are not generally in such fine
fettle as "his", and I definitely approach a job with more confidence
when I know he's around for a final quality control check.

Being a woman enthusiast, especially a hands-on enthusiast, is
definitely being part of a suspect minority.  Last year when we were
looking at a Fulvia Zagato I ended up buying, the owner at first
refused to let me test drive the car until Jay convinced him 1) I was
a capable enough driver, and 2) it would be my car and my decision to
buy so I'd better test drive it.  Even then he was leery of my
abilities.  When I was longer bringing the car back than he expected
he was sure it was because I didn't know what I was doing - I was just
having fun and taking the time to really assess the car.  Unthinkable!
I  don't think he would have felt that way had it been Jay checking it
out.  Even among the car clubs we belong to, many of the women are
perfectly happy just being seen in/associated with their Alfa; driving
one of their own, much less working on one, just doesn't interest. 
Regardless of gender, to be involved with your car, I think you have
to first get a kick out of driving it and most American car choices
just aren't passion inspiring enough to overcome the attitudes and
expectations of the general culture.  The fact that driver-ed classes
all use cars with automatic transmissions can't help much either, nor
can the fact that many manufacturers don't even offer manual
transmissions in many of their larger, more-desired models. 

Megan

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