Yes....FINALLY a weekly update! (the classifieds)

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- -------------------THE-CLASSIFIED-SECTION------------------------

Disclaimer:
"the classifieds" is affiliated with Tiff CO. and any reproduction will
cause immense pain! Due to enourmous pressure, this "weekly update" is
licensed under Tiff CO. (tm) and has no affiliation with ebens past
"weekly updates", nor is it his fault for any opinions expressed.


Top 10 things that I hate about college

10. All the protests in the WORLD couldn't save you from writing your
    English paper! (it COULD back in the 60's!)
9. People are mature, but are SMARTER than you
8. You learn that Homework actually IS an Acronym
7. Your idea of a "eating-out" includes consuming a Mr.Goodcents sandwich
   and talking to the wall!
6. School is life!
5. An "early night" means passing out at 1am!
4. Most professors don't care if you fail
3. The "what-a-beatiful-school" attitude from the beginning of the 1st
   semester turns into "god-this-place-SUCKS" attitude!
2. You KNOW you won't even use 95% of all the crap they shove down your
   throat, albeit for your job OR common knowledge!
1. YOU HAVE TO WORKWORKWORKWORK your ass off!


OK, I feel better....anyways, life is OK here, I'm obviously still alive,
so that's good!  My bank account (here) has reached a balance of 10, yes,
10 dollars! Holy Sh*t!

I have my car now, so the standard of living has raised from a peon to a
laborer!  Hope everyone had (except for julie) a GRRRRRREAT spring break,
mine comprised of having my wisdom teeth pulled and bleeding all over the
place with the knowledge that my sister was in the Flordia Keys.....AAAUGGHH!

My music grade is apparently the only thing that keeps me in decent
academic standing, so you gotta love that!

Found out that I might be going to Australia with the Universitys Symph.
Wind ensemble next Dec. AND I might get my music scholarship raised!
(come on, and automatic 2 hrs of "A" AND you get paid, life doesn't get
any better!)


Without futhur adue, continuing is the CLASSIFIEDS! (....and now for
something completely different!)




SORROWS SECTION  (PETS)
- ----------------

my sincerere condolences go out to Greg and his family for of the
passing away of his beloved cat, Lovie.

a special sorrow ALSO goes out to Cindy because of the loss of Dwight, her
blind and diabetic pet ferret.
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JOYS SECTION
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I think we ALL are happy that there is a month left of school!

 Can I get a raise-the-roofer to Tiffany for her attempts to plan
 everything, even though it doesn't always work!

  Let's ALL thank god that NO-ONE has been seriously hurt from Spring
  Break (well, minus Julie, we STILL don't know)

Finally, WE'VE ALMOST MADE IT THROUGH THE TOUGHEST "TRANSITION" YEAR OF
OUR LIVES, GOOD JOB PEOPLE!!!!
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##################MTV()NEWS#############################################
Really quick, I'd like to add a special  thanks to Steve, Shaun, and Rob
for SUCH a great time in the dorms....if I were to do it all over again,
I'd stick with you guyz.....SOOOOO much better than the guyz over here!!
########################################################################

I'd like the support from the rest of the "digest" to STOP sending
depressing Emails (mayuri....<sigh>) because it does NO-ONE any good to
listen to someone miles away crab about their life! The silent people are
sick of hearing other people drone on about problems that just make them
feel worse about! I'm not trying to be a "little-bitch", but this is
something that needed to be said!

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
I'd ALSO like to send a BBBIIIIGGG "yoyush" to Jamie Helm in her recent
endors including BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF SOMEONE!!! (inquire within, I
guess!)
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

END classifieds.....


Well, that's just about it, any replies can be directed at the nearest
wall to you (just kidding!).


WE ARE ALMOST DONE, JUST HANG IN THERE!



Your friend...the eccentric,


Eben (holy%$^%!$%$!%!#$) Shantz


PS - if you found this edition of "the classifieds" has proved helpful,
     I'd like to hear your opinion (you negative No-No's can keep yer
     traps shut!!)

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