I think I'm going to cry... Oops, this one got kinda long.

["jporath@xxxxxxxxxxxx" <Jporath@xxxxxxxxxxxx>]

Although neither were BMW's (obligatory BMW content now accounted for) the
two most heinous travesties of good taste that I have ever seen both
occurred to two Italian (!) cars.

Number 2: Alfa Romeo Milano Verde (Merde?) sedan - Complete white out paint
job, including trim and grill. Superbird style wing on rear - Level with
roof line. Gold "accessories" - Mirrors, door handles, wheel well trim,
badges, windshield wipers, door trim.  Opaque window tint. 13 or 14" Gold
spoke wheels sporting 13" or 14" wide white wall tires protruding
approximately 5-6" outside the wheel wells. Lowered to within 3" of the
ground.  Utterly, mindnumbingly, ghastly. 

The number 1 worst exercise in automotive customization:

Owned by an induhvidual in my hometown who I knew and respected as a
cretinous bore: Lamborghini Countach.  Accessories:  Fog/driving lamps -
Three of them, rectangular, mounted just above the windshield on the roof.
JC Whitney unpainted, flat black, plastic hood scoop mounted on the hood
with pop rivets! Car itself was red. Extra set of rear view mirrors, the
black flexy kind, mounted above the original rear view mirrors. (This I can
kind of understand what with the complete lack of vision to the rear but
why didn't he just get the big chrome truck style mirrors and be done with
it? Anyway, in a Lamborghini, what's behind you is not important!)
And the piece de resistance (resistance being French for "crap"):  Chrome
side pipes! Big ones! With the big chrome slotted heat shields! Do you
think he ran the exhaust from the rear up to the front and back again? Hell
no! He just wanted the car to look "Fast"

Dear god. Just goes to show that money will not buy you taste. Rumor has it
that he had to have the car serviced and the owner of the shop told him
that he would only work on it if the junk came off. When the induhvidual
got upset, the shop owner said, "fine, take it somewhere else!" Seeing as
the next closest service center was in Florida and the induhvidual was from
Massachusetts, the crap came off.

If only I had the presence of mind to take photos of the car, but I was
very young and simply seeing a Lambo on the street was a thrill that was
almost, but not quite, off set by the carnage that had been wreaked upon
the poor innocent bull.

Regards,

Jonathan Porath
90 E30 M3 - Bigass wing in back, bulgy fender flairs, side skirts, you
know, the factory stuff.

As a PC aside, the owner of the Lambo could trace his lineage pretty much
back to the pilgrims (and would, too, if you let him. Great stuff if you
were fortunate enough to be narcoleptic) He was, nevertheless, quite a
world class jerk. Arrogant and insufferable, he had two lambos and would
spend considerable time bragging about how fast the cars were and how much
money he had. He was a poseur, pure and simple. Therefore, he was
reprehensible and useless. 
As to the owner of the Alfa, I never saw him/her so I can only surmise the
following: Although it may not be in accordance with the dictums and mores
that we adhere to (more or less), I bet that he is just as proud of his car
as we are of ours. He/she obviously spent a lot of time and effort and put
a large degree of care and thought into it. Therefore, he is a car guy. His
choice of palette and style are considerably different but then again, he
would probably question some of ours (how much do those beautiful forged
wheels cost? Apiece?!!?). As a fellow car guy I do tip my hat. He made
himself something unique. I do not understand his choices but I certainly
do appreciate his efforts. 

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