My 164 is 10 today!

["Tim Hancock" <timhancock@domain.elided>]

Yes, my 164TS Lusso was registered exactly ten years ago today, and whilst
this is cause for modest celebration it also heralds the annual knuckle-biting
festival that is the Ministry of Transport roadworthiness and emissions test,
a test that seems to be tightened every year in some way.

First things first, she passed the test, and at this point it is appropriate
to raise a salute to Alfa Romeo and the team that built her as she has
achieved this milestone with very few faults, and most notably has never, I
mean NEVER required any corrective work to enable her to pass the MOT test
over the last seven years (The test being mandatory from year three). The MOT
test is not a walk in the park, and I think this is a testament to the
robustness of the 164 design. I have certainly not lavished money on
maintainance, though I do try to make sure that jobs needing to be done do get
done at the appropriate time/miles.

The day was not without its moments. I decided to wash the car about an hour
before the test appointment and then to take her for a drive to warm her up
and clear her throat. After the wash I took the car out, and as dusk was
approaching I turned the headlights on to be met by a torrent of spray from
the headlight washer jets which would not turn off unless you turned the
headlights off. It has never done this trick before, so I headed off back home
and thought..."I'l take the fuse out" as headlight washers are not mandatory
for the test. Hazard flashers are mandatory however, and guess what fuse no 7
protects...headlight washers and Hazard flashers.

Thankfully I located the relay for the headlight washers very quickly &
removed it (I think water must have got in when I washed it) and that
temporarily cured it for test purposes.

The test was not without a few worrying moments. The tester detected a little
wear in the steering, but declared it well within limits (huge sigh of
relief). The emissions test became a worrying farce, as the computer is
supposed to take the car through a slow idle test cycle then a fast idle
cycle. My car was failing rather badly apparently, though the engine sounded
fine to me, and the exhaust 'looked' OK. Then came the question "Does this car
have a catalyst?" "NO" I cried. "Ah" said the tester "The upgraded software
reports that all 164TS made in 1992 have catalysts (wrong!!)  " The vehicle
was being measured to Catalyst parameters, and the tester had been running the
car stationary at 3000 rpm for about 15 minutes to clean it out, and the fan
was cutting in and out trying to keep it all down to the right temperature. I
was not too happy about that part of the test. In previous years the same test
station has had no trouble in selecting the right test cycle for the car, and
the whole thing being done in about eight minutes with no drama.

The brake testing machine showed up absolutely equal retardation on both axles
and it always pleases me when I see the green light go on signifying a
'pass'.

I think I was given a discount by way of apology for the emissions test
cock-up as they charged me 30 pounds,,,10 pounds less than last year. The main
thing is that the car gets a clean bill of health for another
year...YIPPEEE!!

Tim Hancock    Boston UK

164TS
164 Super
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