IT'S DAYTONA WEEKEND

[John Hammer <JohnHammer@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

To all my race fans, you'll enjoy this!



      The Top 13 Things You Won't Hear At The Daytona 500



13> "None for me, thanks.  That Skoal will do a number on
     your teeth."

12> "Tampax!  Get cha Tampax here!"

11> "Hey, shut up!  I can't hear the race."

10> "Sex with your sister!?  Man, that's sick."

 9> "My GOD, this is a splendid Merlot!"

 8> "Hey, you with the large breasts -- out of the way!
     We're trying to watch a race here!"

 7> "Chesterton, be a good lad and retrieve the Wall Street
     Journal from my attach? case, then fetch me some clotted
     cream for my scone."

 6> "What a coincidence, Hank -- all my friends are boycotting
     Hooters, too!"

 5> "These are even better seats than we had for the Lionel
     Richie concert!"

 4> "Good morning, Mr. Trickle.  We at 'Depends' understand
     you're looking for a new corporate sponsor..."

 3> "Whew!  No more beer for me, fellas..."

 2> "Filling in for Dale 'the intimidator' Earnhardt today is
     substitute driver, Michael 'Lord of the Dance' Flatley."


              and the Number 1 Thing You Won't Hear At The Daytona
500...


 1> "...and now, singing our national anthem -- international
     recording artist Boy George!"



- --
John Hammer
Production Director/Z Morning Crew
WHZZ Lansing, MI
Vice President, Miata Owners of Mid Michigan
'94 Mazda Miata R-Package + Toys
'87 Alfa Romeo Milano Platinum

As a matter of fact, I do own a lot of metric wrenches!

------------------------------