Blown 164 engine / quick, buy shares in my local Alfa dealer

[Jonathan Coates <cdico.demon.co.uk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

I had a very nasty experience yesterday night on my way home from work.
the 164 was purring beautifully when suddenly it started to make a farty
noise like a blow exhaust. As I slowed to pull over the oil pressure and
water temperature gauges went in opposite directions so I killed the
engine. (Also nearly killed myself, steering lock and all that you know)
I pulled off the motorway and lifted the bonnet (hood) to find out what
all the steam was about which had started pouring from the engine bay. I
found water was being forced out of the water filler cap, the expansion
bottle had gone a funny shape and the oil which wasn't in a puddle on
the floor was sprayed all round the cam belt end of the engine bay. The
dipstick was sticking out about two inches as well.
As I killed the engine there was a horrible grinding sound which I
suppose was the mains and big ends going, along with all the rest.
Any guesses as to what went wrong? Is this the normal symptom of a dying
hydraulic belt tensioner?
My guess is that I holed a piston and the very high crankcase pressure
blew the seals at the crank pulley and cam pulley seals, among others.
Therefore I think I either have a big rebuild or a replacement engine
job on my hands.

Questions
What the **** went wrong?
Does anybody out there in UK (Near Manchester ish) have a spare engine
that they can let me have?
Could I fit a 24V engine to cheer myself up?
Will a Milano/75 engine fit?
Has anybody done this without wrecking the cam bearings i.e. short
engine only required?
On second thoughts, if I'm rebuilding, lets stick some lumpy cams in
there, I can explain to my Significant Other Financial Burden that the
old ones were damaged and that S cams are cheaper.
Which is the best Volvo engine for this application?
Does anybody want a 164 with such major problems, if somebody with the
time wants a project I could sell it if I can find a replacement 164?
Anything else you can think of.
Who can I sue  (JOKE   JOKE   JOKE!)
Oh, and sorry for the Environmental Impact and where can I get a beer
round here?

- -- 
Jonathan Coates
164LV6 blown to pieces
752.0TS new daily driver
33 wagon replacement T car
Alfetta 2.0 GTV waiting for godot ( this must be Currency somewhere :-) )

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